sometimes people need solitude, sometimes they need just a hug, sometimes they need the support you’re talking about. most importantly they need to know that they’re not gonna be left in their darkest and hardest times.

sure it doesn’t feel good when you see your friend do something stupid and when you know it takes just a little bit of change for him to be better. but what seems like “a little bit of change” to you might be miles and years of change for that person. in these moments you don’t give up but you change your ways. maybe this person just needs to find the intrinsic value in himself, maybe he needs to feel strong and significant first or maybe he needs to know that even if he doesn’t change he will still be loved and accepted… or maybe he needs something trivial like financial support..

does it ever cross your mind that the way you think it’s best to help these friends might just not be the RIGHT way to help them and not mean that they are hopeless or that they don’t want to or a ready for a change?

You assume a position where you wish to make decisions that will effect a persons life for them. Not everybody and that possibly include your friends have to agree with your perception of needing help, by nature most people wont think you know whats best for them better than them.
You might expect your will to help to be rewarded but it can piss people off when you get too personal with them, it sounds like your friends have developed some anti against your idea and the way you presented them, just drop it for a while or forever.